If I had a nickel for every time someone sent the FBI to question me, I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot, but it says something about my friends when more than one has tried for a security clearance before the age of 21.
On a serious note: while it’s funny to call your friends and say, “the FBI is after you” and then fail to immediately clarify your statements, that’s a great way to make a community college going Patrick begin to think about what his options for escape are once he ditches his phone and laptop in a bush and has nothing to go from but the cash in his wallet. (Not that I’m necessarily speaking from experience.)