In discussion of 25-9-15 - Masks
There was a time in youth group when I was in around middle school when we spent a lot of time talking about how we wear masks around other people and that we should strive to be our true selves and yadda yadda. I always found those discussions kind of confusing because I was always ‘myself’ and that seemed to work for me. As I’ve gotten older, better at making friends, and hopefully wiser, I understand more the message, but I also think that things are more complicated than that.
As I in the poem, I think that there’s some level of social adaptation that’s a good thing. Your personality, while it probably shouldn’t change wholesale depending on the group, will have different elements emphasized depending on the group that you’re talking to. You don’t need to bring up politics in the same way when talking with friends versus strangers or share the same level of depth in your life at a dinner table versus a small group. Your mother probably appreciates a different variety of humor than your friends, and that’s okay.
This isn’t to say that there aren’t unhealthy ways to engage, and reversing core parts of a personality to please others is rarely a good thing (though some aspects of personality can be bad and should be changed), but I think the core of the problem is lying.
TL;DR Personality is complicated, and there isn’t one true mix of your attributes that you should use with all people, but at the same time, you should remain true to your convictions and not bend yourself to a breaking point to fit in.
Also, gossip is bad and treating someone nicely to their face while attacking them behind their back is despicable.